I Am… Everything (and also the one who forgot where she put her keys)

Somewhere between everything and nothing...you may just find yourself!

This morning, I stood in the kitchen holding a cup of tea that had begun to go cold, even though I'd already reheated it twice. Where had that time gone? I knew I had things to do. Really important things. Meaningful things as part of my pre-dawn ritual. And yet… there I was, staring out the window, watching the wind move gently through the trees like it had nowhere else to be. My mind was completely blank. The part of me that loves to hold onto things to make sense of it, just couldn't. The stillness and emptiness was like nothing I'd experienced before even in my most relaxed states. It was the kind of emptiness that felt strangely full and complete in its quiet simplicity. Like it had cheekily just snuck in through the side door when I wasn't looking.

And just like that, it dropped in. Not like a lightning bolt of realisation or enlightenment, like I'd somehow cracked the code and this was it! It felt much softer...more like a feather gently tickling my awareness, playing with not only my mind, but a much deeper and humble part of me that just knows.

I am this too.

Not just the disciplined yoga & mindfulness teacher who rises at 4am most days to do her practice before the puppies wake up and start playfully demanding food & attention. Not just the one who is super organised, and keeps the house tidy and makes a pile of yummy bliss balls each week to take to classes.

Not just the space-holder, the nurturer, the “one who has it all together”, yet can lose an hour while lying on the grass gazing up at the clouds. The wanderer, the forgetter, the hugger of trees, and rescuer of ants trapped in the windowsill, or a helpless cockroach struggling on it's back. The spacey dreamer who in a moment of utter bliss, steps back and lands in a puddle of puppy pee on the floor. The woman who reheats her tea and calls it a ritual. Who balances everything, but tries a little too hard sometimes and winds up being a bit stressed out through all the effort. The one who sometimes knows how special she is, but in the next moment feels a bit wobbly and alone. Yes, all of that I am, and I'm not ashamed to admit it.

Why do we spend so much of our lives carefully editing the sentence after “I am…”?

“I am strong.” (but also vulnerable)

“I am calm.” (but also assertive)

“I am spiritual.” (but also a humble human)

But what if we stopped editing, and simply left out all the 'buts' when trying to identify who we are?

What if 'I am' didn’t need a tidy ending, and a definitive answer? What if we let go of all the I am this's, and I am thats, and just settled with I am?

What if awakening is actually a kind of squishy expansiveness, that is a bit more relaxed, and is the natural by-product of not trying so hard? Not striving to be a better version of ourself, to instead, bravely peer into those mirky, shadowy blind spots without needing to label it a "dark night of the soul" moment. What if it is simply becoming more of less. More honest. More contradictory. More wildly, unapologetically whole & messy.

Because here’s my quiet truth. I keep bumping into (usually when I stop trying so hard). And the moment I try and hold onto it, it's gone again. This slippery, evasive little "I".

I am the calm… and the chaos.

I am the healer… and the one still healing.

I am the grounded earth… and the swirling wind.

I am everything.

Here's a little game to play (because we all love games, right?)

Today, try this:

Each time a thought arises, especially the inconvenient and uncomfortable ones...

instead of pushing it away, gently whisper:

“Ok… I am this too.”

Impatience in traffic, or in our case, when a herd of cattle are slowly ambling across the road when we need to be somewhere.

I am this too.

Joy bubbling up for no reason?

I am this too.

That strange, tender pain in your big toe you can’t quite name?

I am this too.

Watch what happens.

Not everything needs fixing.

Some things are simply asking to be included.

And here’s the magical 'Aha' moment…

When you stop rejecting parts of yourself, you stop rejecting parts of life.

The world softens, edges blur, and your cup of tea quietly goes cold on the windowsill.

And suddenly, you’re no longer standing against your experience…you’re inside it.

Alive in it.

Part of it.

Ok with it all.

A gentle thought to sit with is that maybe we are not a single, fixed identity trying to get it right. We are a living, breathing, ever-changing expression of life itself.

We are the inhale… and the exhale. The wave… and the ocean.

The question… and the quiet space that holds it.

So next time you catch yourself asking,

“Who am I, really?”

You might pause, take a breath, smile and answer:

I am… everything.

Or, as Pema Chodron so beautifully says...

So, dear reader, I'll leave it there for now, but if you are in the Noosa Hinterland, and are curious to explore more deeply, we will be gently playing with this theme in classes all week.

We hope to see you on the mat in Kin Kin & Pomona, where we love to gently feel into life's big & little mysteries.

With love & peaceful blessings,

Sundãri & Shivatree✨️🙏🏼✨️

(Danielle & Tony)

Ps. If you'd like to explore Yoga, Mindfulness, Ayurveda, Qigong, Sound or energy healing with us, please reach out by replying to this email. We work individually or in groups, both in person or remotely from anywhere in the world.